"You're wearing brown shoes and a black belt..."

Legit title.

Today was the first time in quite a while that I've intentionally matched.

I have:

A red watch
A black necklace

A red tanktop
underneath

A black short sleeved shirt
A red and black flannel button up shirt

Blue jeans (only part that doesn't "match")

And red shoes.

With blue nails and neon orange rings.

I was a little surprised with myself, because I never care if I match. I think if you want to wear something that has plaid and then you want to wear a polka-dotted shirt then you wear the shit out of that outfit. I've been on a huge individuality kick and I seriously think that it'll last for the rest of my life. Not one of those things that you adopt for a few months (like running) and then move on to something else for another few months (like yoga) because being yourself isn't exhausting and is SO easy, even if you have no idea who you are.

Scott has helped me evolve in to me since the day I met him. He's encouraged my interpretation of who I am and whatever it is that I'm about and accepted anything and everything that I am and do. I had such bad self confidence and was completely unsure of myself before I met him. He's helped me relax into myself and helped me sink beautifully into my skin.

I might have weird taste and a weird thought process, but I don't really mind it because it's COMPLETELY natural for me. I don't censor my thoughts and rarely censor what I think about things (except for when it comes to work. I'm not stupid enough to say what I REALLY think).

It's so hard to explain and excruciating because it's such a wonderful feeling and I think everybody should feel this way. It's not gloating or a like an overpowered self-confidence drive, it's just complete acceptance and realization of WHO you are and WHAT your personality is like and HOW you function and HOW things are. I have no idea what kind of group I fit in to or what kind of person I can be labeled as but I don't care because I love being me.

If this isn't making much sense then I'm kind of sorry. It makes so much sense in my head and I'm in a computer lab and staring at the screen has left tracers of light when I look at my hands and around the room (which occurs frequently given my beautiful attention span).

Time to go listen to a feminists take on history in T-minus 16 minutes.

"Why do we wear pants to work? BECAUSE MEN WORE PANTS TO WORK!!!!!!!"

WOOF!

Loves always

scorcho.

Welcomed Social Interruptions.

I don't know if it's just me but I always, ALWAYS imagine myself doing HORRIBLE things at the wrong time. Stuff that makes absolutely no sense. And has no reason behind it.

Shouting profanities at the top of my lungs during the Sacrament.

Losing control of my bladder while I write lengthy sentences from my essay (as an example of what not to do) on the board in my english class.

Sending a shit-talking text to the subject of the shit.

etc. etc.

Like the other day, I was walking out of class to meet Scott who had gotten the car, with a dangerously buoyant spring in my step (heading north) with my water bottle about half full along for the ride, clutched securely by the lid in my right hand, when I had one of the most errant thoughts I think I've ever had, as a homely (I have no room to talk since I wear pajamas to school) , rain cloud girl walked past me in a southerly direction, eyes set dead ahead on her destination (If I think of her as something other than a human she'd totally be a slug).

My idea then struck me so that I immediately had a rediculously huge grin slathered on my face.

My eyes were even smiling.

As I walked by her, my minds eye opened up a beautiful new window of the same scene, with me in my clicky-clock knee-high boots, lime green pea-coat and sassy electric blue beanie, SWINGING as hard as I could, and connecting her face with my water bottle (remember, half full) and not even breaking step, leaving her and everyone else around completely baffled.

Totally improper right? And seriously messed up!

WHY do I have those kinds of thoughts?

It is so, that on days like today, where all seems lost and tomorrow is feared

I can reminisce.

and regardless of the scene

it made me smile

and always will.

Love,

Scorcho.