.SYD WOOLF.

Indeed I do not.

2011-09-04T03:23:00.000-06:00

Okay seriously that's the last one.
I need to be asleep but I took a nap earlier. But in all honesty I could've gone to bed at like 10 and been completely fine and able. Whatever. You can lay on your back when you're dead right? Or something cliche?
Mum's doing better. In rehab, daaaaaaaaaaaay by day man. Slow glimpses of improvement are what we hold on to and they manifest daily. They think she had a stroke either during or after surgery (they can't tell for sure because they can't do an MRI or her pacer would come shooting out of her chest and rip out everything in the process). So coupled with the seizures due to NECESSARY medication withdrawal is a setback that nobody was expecting.
And it's exhausting.
But she knew that today was Saturday, and ate some of my strawberries and a little bit of chocolate cake.
Day by day.

It's amazing how destructive your mind can be. Your state of being. Every thought that filters through your head has a direct impact on your emotions and actions whether you realize it or not. And like most machines, filters need to be cleaned out or replaced every now and then for optimal performance. And I don't think mind has ever been changed. Or even possible.
I get so up and down,
positive and negative
happy and rock bottom
carefree and oppressed.
It's to the point now where I'd rather be able to sleep for a few years while it all passes.
Just because I have an appreciation for life and all that I have, doesn't mean that it's easy for me.
For anyone.

Eeyore's drive me insane. The ones whose sorrow leaks out of them like black rancid fumes from a forgotten closet, inevitably filling your nostrils and pores and clothes to the point where you can't separate their sorrow from your own.
So I try to be positive, and look on the "bright side of things".
But it's so damn hard.
SO. Effing. HARD.
It's so easy to get down when you can hear yourself all day. The thoughts that repeat themselves, the mentality that hasn't changed for 25 years. I've cried more this year than I have probably since high school. My nose is constantly raw. And my head always aches. And my sinuses burn like I've gotten chlorinated water up there. And my appetite is ridiculous. So I need to go back to the gym. But only if it isn't hot outside.

I don't know what the change needs to be. I sometimes wish I could go back to how things were when I was a kid. Young, uninformed, simple. But then I wouldn't have what I have today.
I wouldn't be me because I wouldn't have Scott. He was able to coax out the free and voracious side of me that never dared to come out. High school was like suffocating for me.

Ugh. Anyway, I'm going to bed now. I'm sure I'll think of something enlightening tomorrow and share it.
For now, enjoy the cartoons. Because they bring back how slow and wonderful things used to be.
But at least I have now.
And Scott.
And family.

Loves,
syd.

Last one.

2011-09-04T02:41:00.000-06:00

No.stal.gia.

2011-09-04T02:31:00.000-06:00

Bahaha.

2011-09-04T02:13:00.000-06:00

^_^

2011-09-02T00:34:00.000-06:00

Just a sample.

Cous cous and dirigibles,

Syd.

Anywhere but back.

2011-08-15T00:56:00.000-06:00

Well, I said in my last post that I wanted some kind of life-altering change to happen, and that anything would be acceptable or something dramatic and bitchy about how nothing had been going on.

So far, The Fates have gifted me with the following changes:

1: Mum's approaching day 3 of her ICU stay. I stated my case of wanting change in February. March she happened upon pneumonia, following a lovely April diagnosis of not-so-mild congestive heart failure and (probably 4 or 5+ years in the making). A rough estimate of about 10-15 days inpatient status on CVTU at McKay due to various procedures thru May and June. Early August birthed an attempt at a new pacemaker/new control method, which failed, because her heart is her personalities twin and does whatever the hell it damn well pleases. Which brings us to Now, the time and place for open heart surgery consisting of a valve repair, a valve replacement, new pacer, and finishing a BOTCHED procedure that a Greek demon didn't have the stamina to finish.
Thankfully, thruout the process, she's been given access to 4 new doctors. 2 cardiologists (one for EP, one for CHF) one pulmonoligist that specializes in sleep disorders for her OSA which is finally being treated, and now a cardiothoracic surgeon who has literally floated down from heaven and taken the place as the top tier of her multi-layer life cake. Friday, he pried open the white bony fingers that encircle her rebellious angsty teenage heart and gave it one of those "I'm doing this because I love you" firm talking to's and put it in it's place where it should have been all along.
Having said that, she is healing, her heart is obeying, but some residual neurological set backs from her stroke are pulling a thick veil over her face and I've not yet been able to figure out how to understand WHY that happened. It's driving me insane. Yeah, it's only been 60 some odd hours after serious trauma to her body, and a few hospital friendlies have so lovingly told me that "the healing process is rediculous" and "you're in for a long road" and "she's going to look awful" etc. etc. Pretty much Eeyore and Debbie Downer had some sex and their love child posessed these informants and left them with zero room for encouragement.
I get that it's a tough surgery.
I get that it's life threatening.
I GET that she'll look like a dirigible when she's laying in bed with 20 IV pumps and their tentacle-like feelers creeping into her veins.
Maybe just work on your delivery, how bout? Maybe not everything needs to be said?
I'm all for being prepared. I expect the worst out of every situation. EVERY.
Except this one. Literally the ONLY procedure she's had done (in the almost 25 years I've been able to get that awful constant writhing pain in the bottom of my gut) that I've felt completely at peace with.
I probably shouldn't be writing this right now because I'm tired, and like my tamagotchi, if I don't get enough sleep, I get sick in the head and a skull and crossbone occupies my pupils until I'm rested enough.

So on to change number
2: Scott told me he didn't want to go to church any more. And meant it.

I'm the type of person, that if I outwardly represent or advertise something (like my wonderful collection of Hello Kitty or Harry Potter apparel) I know what it's about. And I'm an advocate for it. And I live it. And love it. If I wear a shirt with a quote on it, I know who said it, why they said it, and what they meant.

It was a slap in the face to realize that though I say I'm Mormon, and try to live like a Mormon, I literally know pretty much nothing about it.

Sure I know about Joseph Smith, and random Bible and Book of Mormon stories here and there, and the general mission and purpose of The Church, but I've never immersed myself in it the way I did when I discovered David Bowie. Or when I discovered that Hello Kitty was being sold for 1/4 of the price that it was at 10 years ago. Or when JK Rowling gave 7 gifts to the world that I've read each more than three times.

The way I felt when I realized that I'd been using The Church in my life and trying to force it on those around me, was the way Joanna reacted when my mum would lock eyes with her and say
"SHAME"
(after Joanna had littered the bathroom floor with the contents of the waste basket)
in the most sincere and disappointed voice she could muster.
That poor dog would cower, and lower her head, and slink away to her pillow where she would lay and look back at my mum every so often until she either forgave her or forgot about it.
I've been such a coward with employing and literally living with the Church in my life. Politics is the only thing that I'm O.K. with picking and chosing different sides on different aspects. I've been vegetarian for about 6 or 7 years, and done more research on it and everything about it than I ever have about the Church. It's insanely easy to take advantage of something that you don't remember being introduced to. Something that you've always "known".

There are things here and there that I choose to obsess over, because uniqueness and undiscovered territory and the opportunity to Google something is a huge braingasm for me, and the more I can learn about random things, the more I can add to my collection that makes me ME.
Needless to say, I've been making a snail paced approach at reintroducing this into my life and daily mindset. I don't have to explain myself, I do it enough in my head.

On to my lucky number,
3: Scott took the MCAT, got a score that was above the national average last year, applied to 20 schools, got 16 or so responses requesting an additional application, and TWO NIGHTS AGO got a response back from the first one saying they want him to come interview.

The thought of living somewhere else a year from now totally excites and completely freaks me out. Ecstatic because a life where Scott and I just have each other to solely rely on would be so scary but so enticing. Horrified because the thought of not being able to walk 30 feet or drive 30 minutes to my parents house is paralyzing to the point of nausea.
BUT.I keep telling myself that our relationship is in it's infancy. My parents lived in North Carolina and Germany as newly-weds. Plus I don't like being comfortable enough to the point of being afraid of change, and that comfort has hardened around me and convinced me that things are good where they are.
So needless to say, I've looked up and researched each school's surrounding Universities that have a good english program for me to get in to, and what each city is like, etc. etc. You can't plan for something like that without having SOME kind of idea what to expect, right?

Alright well this is rediculously long, and I think I've proven my point that you shouldn't ask for something until you're ready for it.
Because it'll happen whether you're ready for it or not.
This is where Yoda would say make choices you must, or freaking Dora would sing her stupid song about knowing that we can do it, or that totally unrealistic kids book about the little engine that could pops in to your mind as you make your decision on whether or not to remain dormant, or keep pushing forward like everyone and everything else does.
Because really, you don't have any other choice.
Today is over.
Tomorrow is gone.
All I have is now.

Loves,
Syds.

2011-02-28T23:44:00.001-07:00

1. I smell like sulfur. Medically.
2. I forgot how to cry.
3. I need a change. Drastic would be permitted.

01-11-11

2011-01-11T18:56:00.000-07:00

Woaoooohhhh 1-11-11! People act like it's so exciting, and it is! Just like 10-10-10! And 9-9-09! Just IMAGINE 11-11-11!!!! Incredible right?
I have like 11 (haaa, punny)minutes until the tofurkey is done so that means I have like 6 minutes to write this because I'm going to make some deliciously boxed mashed potatoes and laboriously rip the lid off of a can of beans, dump them in a bowl, and shove them in the microwave. So. much. work.
I slept in today. Slept in like I woke up at 7:56 and I have to be to work at 8. The surge of adrenaline that hit my body was way too painful and I'd rather not experience it again. Plus it threw the WHOLE day off. It was just weird. That and there were loud piano players all day. I'll take a picture tomorrow so you can get a feel for the setting, because it's something that I'm sure I'll frequently bitch about, because I frequently EXCESSIVELY bitch about it at work.
I'm going to sign up for a gym tonight (second step to becoming an adult: buy a gym membership at the beginning of the year [first step: order a box of personalized checks].) and I'm not quite sure how I feel about it. I hate exercising. But I hate being winded after walking up 3 flights of stairs so I should probably shut up. I'm signing up with my sisters Nancy and Julie and I can totally picture us all using ellipticals side by side and looking either completely awesome or completely hilarious. But whatever. I might look funny doing that, but you probably look funny sitting there reading this.
Watch, I'll probably eat way too much tofurkey and mashed potatoes and ralph all over the machines. I'd totally keep going though.
Okay. I have like 2 minutes. I ordered new debit and credit cards today and I personalized them so hopefully they'll accept the pictures, because they're both from the internet (and both EPIC as hell) and therefore not of my own making. But whatever. I can't make epic unicorn pictures and I'm not about to go out into wild Yellowstone and photodocument a bunch of wolves. That's insane.
Pleeeease bless they'll accept them.
Okay crap the timer just went off.

Hugs and loves and cherub nubs.

Syd.

I don't feel any different.

2011-01-02T23:47:00.000-07:00

So 2011, huh. Nuts. It feels like a ton of stuff happened last year, aaaand I guess some stuff did happen? We cut our umbilical cords and live in an apartment (disregard the fact that it's next door to my parents), Scott applied for graduation *!!!!!!!*, I got a new job....ummm. I'm sure there is plenty of other stuff that happened, but right now I'm mostly just wanting to throw two bits out there before I go to bed (and normally I'd say "to get up and do what I'll do every single day of the year for the rest of my life" but it's the "new year" and we're supposed to be positive) so I can get up and ROCK my job and not be mean when I hang up the phone having just spoken to a loud breather aaaand yeah. Okay I gotta go. Eyes are blurring. Stomach hurting. Head nodding.
Good night,
and welcome to the rest of your life.

Love,
Syds.

And what the hell happened to summer?

2010-09-19T22:37:00.000-06:00

So pretty much it's been two months-ish since my last post and pretty much nothing huge has happened. I got a job in July upstairs in the Sleep Lab and totally love it. I miss everybody I worked with in the ER but as far as my overall well being is doing it's marginally better. I'm still adjusting to the hours (8 to 4:30) and when you don't have kids waking up in the morning isn't the easiest thing to do when you've been used to going to bed at 12 and later for the past 3 or so years. So I'm pretty tired most of the time and that usually plays in to my mood. I'm great throughout the day but when I get home it's like I walk in to this sort of haze and wait until I can go to sleep to do the same thing the next day. I just feel like I've been in this sort of holding pattern for a while, and don't get me wrong, I love getting comfortable and absolutely detest change but I don't really feel like I've made any personal progression for at least a year or so. This is such a weird age for me and I don't really know how to take things anymore. I just turned 24 on August 29th and have been pretty numb to everything. I'm sure that it's just a temporary phase but apathy can only last so long before it starts to eat away your heart and soul. I've been pretty angry lately too and have caught myself multiple times shaming myself for things that I think about people when in reality, EVERYBODY deserves the benefit of the doubt. It's so natural to judge off of first impression but I think that the more advanced society gets the easier it is to take things one step further in our heads and immediately label people based off of what we see and assume. Communication is so much faster now and easier than ever. Face to face conversation still occurs but with texting and emails and crap like this it makes it that much easier to withdraw and rely on our own impressions for judgement and further assumptions. I have absolutely no idea where this is going.
So other than getting a new job, and feeling pretty lost in the scheme of things, my heart is still beating, my mind is still whirring, and my body keeps marching (not necessarily forward), and for now that will have to do.
Until later.

Love
syd.

What the hell happened to spring?

2010-07-14T21:59:00.000-06:00

So there's no real excuse as to why I haven't been posting. At all. I'd say "lately" but I haven't posted for a couple months. And it's mostly because I don't want to emotionally invest the time. It's way selfish but my justification is that I have to live THROUGH the moment and pass it on, so why RELIVE it and gut it open anew and do a little play by play? And it's not like I have to post the really emotional stuff, I could just prattle on about how today at work a mama duck almost lost one of her babies. But I really like to reflect at the end of the day, and I rarely say how I REALLY really feel to most people, and it's a mental chore for me to explain things to people or give a play by play to someone who wasn't there. I don't even know if this is making sense, and it probably sounds totally ridiculous but there it is. I don't even write in a journal anymore. I've become so impatient and such a product of my surroundings that I get shoveled in to the stream of things and never leave time for myself. Time for myself doesn't include vegging out after work and reading or playing Harry Potter Lego (which I've already beaten). I think we owe it to ourselves to devote a small or doable amount of time geared towards US as an individual. I think blogging or journaling can be really therapeutic and can help point out the other side of the story if you were hell bent on the destruction of one person and didn't give a wink of thought to how the other side might be seeing things.
I always worry a lot about how people will perceive me. Part of me wants to not even give a shit but the other part is on constant paranoia stand-by. You know how there are people that you're around a lot (say a coworker),and they come walking over and you internalize the groan that is ripping at your throat while you think "UGH. I can't STAND her". So then paranoid me things -okay, what if when my peppy face shows up, and someone does a mental cringe, or it puts a little dent in their already okay day? I'm all for individuality and uniqueness but at the same time respecting others for THEIR perception of individuality (like the lady that was frothing at the mouth while on the phone with some other frothy lady, talking about these $1,500 purses that she HAD to buy [while I thought holy shit lady get a hobby]) is needed and I don't do it often enough. So basically don't judge people is what I'm getting at. IDK.

I started a new job this Monday and I absolutely LURVE it. I truly miss everybody I worked with but the Sleep Lab is such a smaller scale and sooo much healthier both physically and mentally (I work 8am to 430 rather than noon to midnight). Yeah I won't be able to go to school, but Scott's only got 2 semesters left and I might not get half tuition since my dad retired (waaaaaaa)sooo yehls. I'll pop out a night class just for my GPA's sake. RIP.

ANYWAY. I feel like whenever I get on here I just totally whine. But I guess I feel like I can just throw it out into the wondrous web of online data banks and let it sift through the 0's and the 1's and settle. Just to get it off my chest. My mental chest. I just pictured my brain with boobs.
Okay I gotta go to bed. I've been up since 6:30 (which is NUTS for me because I didn't usually surface before 1030 (or 12 or later on my days off). Now I know why my parents were always resting their eyes. Teehee.

Love,
Unconditionally,

syd.
scorchito.

Hmph.

2010-04-27T03:22:00.000-06:00

Not wanting to say much but I'll say some anyway. I had a dream this morning that I was late for a final and couldn't get work off in time to be able to take it. I woke up shaking. How horrible is school? It OWNS you. It BECOMES you. It eats you alive and has it's metal tentacles gripping your brains 24/7 365.
I'm so tired I don't even know what I'm saying.
I had a drunk guy call in tonight who talked to me for 29 minutes and was calling me Syd by the end of the conversation. You could tell that he hadn't talked to someone for a while.
Okay seriously. Time for bed. I think the guy downstairs is awake and that isn't good for anybody.

Loves.
Syd.

Oscillating.

2009-11-29T23:20:00.001-07:00

So scary to think of how things could be. Wave after wave of nausea sets in when I think of the endless possibilities of how things could have been. I count my blessings every day and thank God for everything I've been given. I've always been lucky, nothing over the top, but not skimming the bottom. Just lucky. Blessed. Oppression helps build us up to become who we were meant to be all along. Stepping stones. Small in the giant picture. It takes multiple pieces to tell a great story.
I can't believe November is already over. It's so scary how fast time goes by. Kids have an unfair advantage. Yeah, ignorance is bliss, but shit man, life was so good when I was a kid. I had the perfect childhood. No worries, nothing to fear, wonderful parents, an array of siblings, great friends. No stress, just play, home made bread, tomato soup and grilled cheese when we'd come inside from the freezing cold. Plowed over by my mum when we played spill the beans one winter. Fall after fall on the gravel at Polk. Sticky with sweat from just being outside.
It's insane how things can change. Reminiscing is almost painful. But then I think about how things are right now and I wouldn't have life any other way. I'd rather have raw emotions and truth right up front than being kept in the dark and hidden from how things really are. Sometimes I wish I had enough love for everybody who thinks they aren't loved. Sometimes I feel like I have enough love for every kid in the world. Sometimes I can barely love myself. But I always have an immense supply of love for Scott. A giant grain silo filled to the top with ridiculous sappy romantic childish innocent real honest love for Scott. So when these emotions build up like crazy, I just pull out some more silos and fill them and store those for a later, more appropriate time. Because we all know how good it feels to throw up a string of expletives and tap in to those stored emotions of full on anger and just empty it out in one blow. Sure it might be a little messy after, but it just ends up blowing away with time anyway. Everything gets blown away in time, so say what you mean, do it now. If you don't, your silos will rot with old emotions and feelings and there will be no room for the new ones. You have to experience the bad to appreciate the wonderful. Raw. Don't hide yourself, it'll just hurt more when you have to face the real thing.
One more week and I never have to attend another physics class for the rest of eternity. Yeeeeeeeee!!!!!

Love always,

El Scorcho.

Mullllllllllll it over

2009-11-10T00:49:00.000-07:00

(inhale)
There are so many things in life that I don't understand. So many things that need to be said. So many feelings that are felt but rarely expressed. So much confusion for such a short period of time (in the grand scheme of things). SO MUCH that I want to express but am too selfish to take the time (TIME, of all things) to throw it all out like some kind of sheep or goat, randomly bleating their sorrows or amusement in time with their hearts, constantly one-upping each other. Like the last clapper. Every audience has one. Somebody who wants to prove something. Somebody who wants to let EVERYONE there know, "HEY. I am determined as HELL to be the last clapper. So let the dwindling begin."

So I just went and washed my face and lost all train of thought, even though while I was washing I was spouting out sentences in my head of stuff that I want to put down, but oh well. It'll keep circulating and come back out to the surface in a few months.

I haven't WRITTEN DOWN my thoughts for a while. I don't know if it's because reflecting makes me depressed? Or leaves me with a sense of emptiness? Or sometimes maybe I'm just too embarrassed to put down everything that's floating around in my head. Which is a LOT of stuff.
I was thinking earlier how shitty it is that we have to kind of censor ourselves. And I'm not saying we should all be insanely profane and sound like we have pig shit running out of our mouths but I've come to the realization that no matter WHAT you say, ANYTHING you have to say, you'll offend SOMEONE. Regardless of what you say, I could say that I hate marigolds and I think they should be exterminated and never grown again and some lady over in Iran might make her living off of selling marigold wreaths (heaven forbid), and be WAY upset with that. I'm not saying that we should have a direct microphone hooked up to our thoughts but shit man, it's in our head, and we think it and if we think it more than once and dwell on it then we usually MEAN it, so why not say it?
AGAIN. I'm not saying you need to full out say every single nasty awful horrible degrading ignorant racist judgmental thought that you have. I just think that it's unfortunate that I can't publicly say how much I hate my job without having to look over my shoulder and make sure that certain people don't see it. BUT IT'S TRUE. My job is like wind-surfing over a black hole, or like laying on your stomach with your blood rushing thru your ears right at the threshold of hell. I feel completely useless sometimes, and unappreciated. I know, I know, you're probably barking out that every job has it's ups and downs, but for right now, I'D like to vent things that have been festering and molding around my heart for the last two years. It's a total double edged sword. I absolutely love the people I work with (again, like most jobs. I know this) but I don't know if it's just the environment or the people taking advantage of the health care system (our customers) or just the fact that it's an ER. And I'm sure if some people read this they'd say "Well just deal with it because that's how ER's are all over the country", I'd say "Please shut the hell up", because I don't have these thoughts and these feelings to be told that I'm just like everyone else. I don't cry my eyes out while I'm driving home to be told that everybody else goes through it like I do. EVERYBODY experiences Life on an INDIVIDUAL level. Sure we're all going through it, but we have absolutely NO IDEA what on earth is going thru each individual's convoluted thoughts at any given time. We'll never know, because it's physically impossible to write down every single thought you have (which is like 10 thoughts per 1/10th of a second or some ridiculous statistic that I would love to know how they figured out). And this isn't all just about my job. It's about EVERYTHING. I KNOW everybody experiences life. I know everybody goes through shit. We mostly voice our problems because we want consolation, and have this internal need to be reassured that it's O.K., and that they know what we're talking about. Some people deal with more shit than others, and voice their problems more than others, and then we immediately label that person as a complainer, or a whiner. Problems are much easier to voice than just regular old thoughts. We go to therapy to be reassured and get an outside opinion and an outside hand to help us back up and square our shoulders for us so we can face life. There are some things that you can't just tell people to deal with. You can't just roll your eyes at someone when they say "Oh we just got like 5 different medical bills in the mail and my car broke down and my kid just dropped out of school" because you have NO IDEA what they are going through, because again, we're experiencing it at an individual level. We'll never know what other people's lives are like, because we're too busy living ours. And I'm not saying we need to just throw down our shields and rush out to help people, because we'll be plowed over in the process. I'm not even sure what the hell I'm trying to say, or if I'm trying to prove some sort of point. I just think that we need to constantly remind ourselves that everybody is different. Everybody has their own past. Everybody lived yesterday just like you did, only maybe their dog died (RIP Norm), or maybe their aunt just had a double mastectomy, or maybe their best friend is going through a divorce and just lost their house. Hopefully not everything happens to ONE person all at once (although it seems like that happens more often than not).

I just want to give everybody a chance to have a voice. THEIR voice. I don't know if I'm crying because I believe in it so much or if I'm just tired as hell and have to get up in 5 hours. Maybe it's the caffeine. IDK. I guess I just want everyone I come in contact with to not hold back or not say something in fear of me rolling my eyes or just rushing them on their way. You never know what someone's breaking point could be. They might need to just get one thing off their chest, or have one completely, ABSOLUTELY pointless conversation to make their life a little better (like the kids behind me in physics today talking about who the hell knows what and making me so angry that my fists were clenched because I couldn't hear the teacher [my fault for sitting near the back I guess]).
A lot of this has to do with Time too. I don't know WHAT the deal is, but I swear it conspires against us. It knows when we're having a good time, and slips by illegally and is jealous because it can't have a good time (ha, pun), and then when we're studying every day like a good student 3 hours turns in to 8, or a 12 hour shift turns in to 17. And then when I sit down to read, or write, it's all the sudden 135 in the morning and daylight has never come quicker.

Okay well this is extremely long winded and I'm sorry if anybody disagrees with this. But please, seriously, don't judge, and give people time to show themselves, and build relationships (however pointless they may be), because to that ONE person, you could be the reason they enjoy their job, or that one thing that you say that you've been itching to but it isn't really appropriate might offend 5 people, but could make 1 persons day. Those 5 people will get over it. Time does a good job at making us forget why we were mad, or what someone said to offend us.

Now just get over yourself and tell everyone else to shut the hell up and say whatever the shit you want to say.

Love,

(exhale)
El Scorcho.

Snow sucks.

2009-10-27T10:45:00.001-06:00

I seriously hate waking up to frosted roads. I don't think there's anything quite as terrifying as driving in snow. Not only do I suck at it, but it's like the car KNOWS, and it takes advantage of it's ability to mess around and slide into curbs and stuff. So now I'll be super paranoid all day at work and then I'll be driving home going 40 on I-15 and hit a patch of ice and my car will go flying off the road.
Scott has had this obsession lately with doing anything and everything in his power to prove me wrong. For example, I typed this:

5 out of every 10 computers in the WSU computer lab has facebook up.

And his reply was to pop his freaking head up like a prairie dog and START COUNTING THE DAMN COMPUTERS. And earlier, (on facebook, hahaha) I typed that I wanted to obliterate all the clouds with a giant space heater and he said:

"That would only make more clouds."

GAAAAHHH!!!!

Once again, I must say that I absolutely detest typing ANYTHING while here in the computer lab with the Mac screen that's as wide as my arm is long. It's like everybody behind me can see what I'm typing, even though I'm in the back row. And I totally want to talk about how the girl next to me is coughing like crazy all over the keyboard and it's grossing me the freak out. I keep sliding over next to Scott. So now I'm typing with the page half concealed so she can't see.
Okay, time to go do crap for physics. Which is the worst class, IN THE WORLD. And I think that's one thing that Scott will actually agree with me on. Probably not though, he'd be like:

"No, I really enjoyed conceptual physics."

And then I'd be like:

Loves,
El Scorcho.

Don't sleep on your left side.

2009-09-18T14:46:00.000-06:00

Okay guys so I'm sorry it's been a rediculously long time since I've posted. Like two months ago. It sucks how fast time goes when there are things you WANT and NEED to do and then when you're sitting at work wishing it would be over, time couldn't possibly go slower. Guhhhhhhhhh.
So a few days ago I started taking these "supplement" like things (vitamins and what not) that said it creates more collagen to stimulate hair growth (which I am DESPERATE for). So I was all excited and started taking two a day on monday, and the next morning my heart was having PVC's (extra beats) every so often, like one every 10 minutes or so. PVC's are normal, and I usually get them like once or twice every couple weeks but that morning I had like 8 just while I was laying in bed. And if you've ever had them they're uncomfortable as hell and it feels like a rabid bird is trying to get out of your chest, and it's wings are beating the crap out of your heart. Or better yet, it's like your HEART has wings and is trying to launch out of your chest. But it only does one feeble flap of the wings. If it did multiple for like 30 minutes then that's another story.
So yeah ANYWAY, I go to work that day and sho nuff, they keep happening. Super uncomfortable and starting to freak me out a bit. Thankfully I already had an appointment scheduled for Thursday (yesterday) with my doctor to follow up on how wonderful my welbutrin is, so I thought okay I'll just tell him what's been going on. So wednesday night comes along (I had only taken two pills on monday, and two on tuesday when the wackness started) and my heart was doing it more and more often. To the point that I got up and walked around just to distract myself from the raptor trying to fly and claw it's way out of my chest. On my drive home that night I was trying to think back to when it started....and what the hell could possibly be going on. Thankfully I have some memory retention and thought a-HA! I started taking those stupid supplements on MONDAY, and the summersaulting heart tricks started happening TUESDAY! So then I started wondering if there was any magnesium in the pills, because the week before I was talking to a nurse about this way sick alcoholic lady whose heart was on the fritz and she said that her heart was unable to deal with the ammounts of MAGNESIUM and potassium from the alcohol so it causes a weird rhythm (totally random that she'd mention that but I ask questions and this one time it came in use). SO. I present said question to Bryan (my doc) and he said "Oh yeah, too much or too little magnesium can push the heart either way." DING DING DING. So they did an EKG and put little stickers with magnetic or whatever leads all over my body and it showed that my heart likes to lay on her left side and is turned more to the left than normal (Thanks a lot Mom!), explaining why it feels like my heart is dangling freely in my chest when I lay on my left side. But he said it was normal, so whatevs. Stupid hearts.
So he said I could lay off the pills for a week, and then start them up again next week to see if they're the cause of the pvc's and I was like uh, NO THANKS, I'll just let my hair grow normally. Freakin hell. So I'm just going to stick with my original assumption that it was the supplement's fault cause I ain't had not a one today. Wooooo! So when you see all of those green bottles with yellow labels that make you think "man I'll be super healthy if I take some of that stuff", STAY AWAY FROM HAIR, SKIN, AND NAILS. Cause it'll make you feel like you have a midget punching it's way thru your chest.
And I just read thru this and I apologize if it makes absolutely no sense because I just type the sentence that's in my head, and we all know how I looooooove long sentences, but so did Faulkner. So back off.

Loves,
with my west-facing heart,
El Scorcho.

Totally inappropriate but I don't even care.

2009-07-21T01:33:00.001-06:00

I don't even know how to start this. It's one of my BIGGEST pet peeves and it seriously grosses me the hell out. So if you're totally reserved and think that literal bathroom talk is completely uncalled for then I'm sorry but you'll have to stop reading.

Answer me this.

Question::[scenario]
HOW, does one go to the bathroom (sitting makes more sense but I suppose it could happen standing up), finish their business, wipe the appropriate area, stand up, flush, and LEAVE the bathroom WITH ONE OF THEIR PUBES ON THE TOILET SEAT?
Seriously!?!!?! What the shit! What on this freakin earth makes YOU (you sick Pube Deserter/Shedder/Bandit) think that I want to go to the bathroom and sit on one of YOUR pubes!?!!
I mean come on. I've let this go on more than one occasion, more than I'd like to count. Leaving the toilet seat up, fine. Whatever. Be a dolt, or a guy, whichever you'd like to categorize yourself with (hand in hand?) and show us how macho and care-free you are and leave that seat up. Fine.
BUT. PLEASE.
For the LOVE.
I'm not being sexist and saying that 80% of the time it's a guys fault (which it usually, PROBABLY is a guy). There was one occasion where a particular person opposite of a male spent a little too much time in a tanning bed, and had a full body 3rd degree burn. Being burnt in places that don't usually get burnt= peeling.
Fine. You shed that leprous skin and give some air to those brand new baby skin cells!
BUT WIPE OFF THE DAMN SEAT.
Now am I totally way off in being freaking disgusted to the maxxxxx? We're talking serious gag-reactions. I honestly can't figure it out. It's like some crazy phenomenon that is sweeping (ha) toilet seats nation-wide into the shadows. Who the hell doesn't check out the toilet after you go? I'm trying and doing a very good job at keeping this excrement free so spare the 1750's gasps of disgust and shame. You seriously can't tell me that you don't give the toilet seat a once-over before flushing, washing your hands, and exiting (along with a quick but thorough examination of your face w/special attention to your pores/oil production).

The ONLY way I will grant you clemency is if you are:
A.-blind
B.-so insanely tall that you can't see the toilet seat during your once-over, or
C.-pubeless.

So next time you lose one of your leetl frens....
Give us a courtesy puff, or grab one more square of that wonderful toilet paper.

And
wipe.
it.
off.

Now on a lighter but similar and much more enjoyable note,
enjoy this:
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/23595533/

And think of me during your once-over.

Loves,
with firm but unyielding love (gag, right?)

El Scorcho.

Revved up like a douche.

2009-07-20T02:04:00.000-06:00

I was driving home tonight with The Count when "Blinded by the light" came on the radio, recognizable right from the start with the horrible arrangement of cheesy synthetic organ chords when the line "revved up like a deuce" was delivered with my jaw simultaneously dropping.
me-"Did it just say douche? Revved up like a douche?!"
scottie-"Yeah, I've always thought that's what it said."
And it kept repeating itself OVER and OVER again, resulting with me turning it up LOUDER and LOUDER each time to make sure that it was seriously saying revved up like a douche.
So pretending like I was a member of the Look It Up Club I searched for the lyrics on my phone, only to be disappointed when I read the correct lyrics.
But still. Seriously? Revved up like a deuce? I'm sure it fit just PERFECTLY when the song was written but it seriously just sounds like he's singing about being so totally psyched that he's as ready as a douche that's about to embark on some secret mission.
Scott and Norm are distracting me. Scott's talking about how horrible Africa is and little kids with guns and Norm is doing who knows what to the couch and I'm trying to contribute to the conversation but the only things I'm saying are "yeah" and "hmmm".
I've since moved on from eating a pound of strawberries as often as possible to dried mangoes. AND nectarines. But the nectarines have to be like biting in to a damn cement filled coconut. None of this soft, mushy shit. That's for peaches. So the mangoes are treating me oh so nicely so I'm not going to complain. There's so much I could complain about but then I'd just be like every other self-victimizing person who has all kinds of crap (and some have legit crap) and lets the world know about it. I have more important things to deal with. Like Scott interrupting whatever flow is going thru my brain to present the question "What if humans were covered in hair?......what would GIRLS do?". So now I'm picturing these sasquatch-like girls with short gross blonde dog hair all over their bodies and it's weirding me out. Mostly because I'm picturing them like one of the characters in Yo Gabba Gabba. The werid green and blue guy...but blonde and with a pink bow....and as a girl.

Yikes.
Time for bed.
Don't want to keep Gaston waiting :)

Lurves,
mucho gusto,
El Scorcho.

(I online-translationed mucho gusto and it means "a lot of taste" on one search engine, and on another "much pleasure". So we'll pretend it means "with a lot of pleasure". Or how about "a shit load". Yeah. A shit load.)

Hupdate.

2009-07-06T11:26:00.000-06:00

Hi guyth. It's been an insanely long time since I've updated and I'm actually ashamed that I haven't done more. I get into these modes where I'll be like "oh my gosh I need to write that down" or "oh my gosh I have got to blog this", and then I get home and it's almost like I shy away from everything. Because writing everything down makes it so FINAL, in a way. And by writing it down you acknowledge that you're either currently or have had those thoughts and that they're circulating that wonderful brain of yours and are trying to get out thru your ears and nostrils and tear ducts (except I don't cry thru my ears and nose).
ANYWAY.
I was looking thru my other blog
(http://blogs.myspace.com/kitschneymarie)
[if it doesn't work it's myspace.com/kitschneymarie, and on the right under Nosferatu are my entries, and you can click on "View all blog entries"]
and realized that I wrote a butt load, but then also realized that I was extremely depressed and only wrote Debbie Downer stuff. So there's my warning if you go read those. There's a lot of them. Aaand some of them are "explecit" so be warned Mum. I've tidied up my mind-mouth a little bit but not to the point of choking it and cutting off what I really think. So I've "matured" a bit, or whatever the hell you wanna call it.
POINT BEING- Some of them say the eff word (among other things), and I would go back and change them, but then it would change what I was trying to say, and quite frankly, at the time, I didn't give a damn who read it or how it was interpreted, because I didn't even care about myself enough to care about anyone else.
Yoish.
Moving on.
So it's like the middle of July and it's been WONDERFUL as far as the weather is concerned. The sun must've had some kind of set back like a month long appointment with his doctor or something and forgot to fry us all with his unforgiving rays.
I'm still trying to recover from the conference I had with my english teacher I had last semester, who referred me to the Hacker book to look up...(and of course now I don't remember the exact phrase for it) but it pretty much tells you how to shorten your sentences. Aaaaand if you look at my last sentence, you'll see why she referred me to said chapter.
Whatever. I love long sentences. So mleh.
Okay time to go bask in the sun and read The Secret.
I can't believe I just admitted to that.

Loves,

Most ardently (I just finished Pride and Prejudice),

El Scorcho.

Nazi Zombies

2009-04-05T00:11:00.000-06:00

Oh my GOSH so right now I'm slumped over like an old lady in the chair while Scott plays COD's-Nazi Zombies and I've been so enthralled with whatever I was looking at on the computer that when I decided to remind myself of my surroundings it was like TOTAL.CHAOS. Seriously. Surround sound zombies. With explosions going off and Scott twitching every time he tries to shoot a zombie and the zombies screaming incoherently. I'm actually pretty impressed with my ability to tune things out. This game is actually pretty disgusting. And scary as hell when you try to go to sleep and all you see are zombies coming at you.
Which is why I bought Beauty and the Beast on VHS from the D.I. a few weeks ago. I freaking love it. I mean yeah, she's only there for like 3 days and is already in love with him, but whatevs. I pretend that she's there for like MONTHS and then they FINALLY fall in love. But I'm usually out for the count by the end of the opening song and where she's defending her dad after Lefou makes fun of him. Ma-ha-ha-ha. And OH MY GOSH Gaston is such a douche. Holy moly. And no wonder the townspeople think she's weird. THEY'RE FRENCH. They're bound to be bastards sometimes.
So yeah I'm definitely going to be watching that tonight.
Nothing much is new. I got a damn B- on my last paper and was TOTALLY expecting it but was still pretty crushed when she handed it back to me. She even APOLOGIZED. I wanted to be like Well hell if you're sorry just give me an A! It was supposed to be an analysis of a complex problem essay directed towards the govenor and I was apparently a little too sassy and didn't elaborate enough on solutions. Because frankly I don't give a damn about certain things and that tends to screw me over in MULTIPLE situations. Always with school. Bad news man.
Wow wow wow I'm so easily distracted. I've been staring wide-eyed at the TV screen, screaming whenever a zombie gets too close to Scott. Which makes him tense up even more. Oh my gosh.
Yeah anyway. I've completely lost any prior train of thought so I'm gonna read now. Something raunchy and smutty I think.
You can never go wrong with Christine Feehan.

Even though a lot of the men are like Gaston.
Hahahaha.

Loves
El Scorcho.

Equine Persuasion.

2009-03-22T00:32:00.000-06:00

--------------------------
A Short Story by Syd Woolf
--------------------------

Mobocracy

2009-03-20T10:03:00.000-06:00

I don't like blogging in computer labs because they're the new MAC monitors that
have EVERYTHING built in to them (like the entire computer) and when the screen is completely maximized it's like ANYBODY SITTING NEXT TO YOU OR BEHIND YOU CAN READ EVERYTHING YOU'RE SAYING OR LOOKING AT. IT'S LIKE LOOKING AT YOUR BANK ACCOUNT- WHO THE HELL WANTS A SCREEN SO BIG SO THAT YOU CAN SEE THAT YOU ONLY HAVE LIKE $76.33 IN YOUR CHECKING ACCOUNT.
And this version sucks because I can't change the font so otherwise the above sentince would be like font-size=150 so you could see how freaking massive this looks.

Updates-
*I have another exam next weekend that I was entirely unaware of until about 20 minutes ago.
I just imagined those protector things -the ones that you'd use in 1st grade when you were taking tests- around THIS computer so I could type in total seclusion and feel sneaky when I peek over and look at Scott's screen but then get totally caught staring at another monitor.

*We have roughly 5 weeks left of school.

*I have severe shuffle-shame when I put my iPod on shuffle and only get like 10 seconds thru the song before I skip to the next song, only to repeat the process

*I love mannequins but Mum thought that the one on my background was just some naked lady with cute little nipple covers so I'll change it once people aren't screen peeping.

*I've changed my major to English with a Creative Writing emphasis and a teaching minor and haven't been this excited about school since the day before my first day of Kindergarten.

*Scott has a wikipedia page open with a picture of a person with edema around the eye (I'll take a picture of it and upload it later) and it's totally freaking me out because it's only ONE eye and it's like they're staring at me. Sweaty face and all. I'd hate to be the person in a medical dictionary that is the picture for the definition of some weird disease. Like this one time at work, well nevermind it's probably a HIPPA violation. Huff.

*I still have an obsession with skeletons, and smiled at myself yesterday when I saw this girl in a white semi-snazzy car with a huge pink Lei hanging from her mirror (I used to have one during highschool so I can't rag on her too much) and then looked at mine and saw a cute little skeleton hanging by his neck. Whose name is Nimby.

*I just saw a picture of another freakin eye disease that Scott pulled up (uveitis) and arranged it so JUST the picture was peeking out from another window.

Yeah I'm gonna go. Scott's making me sick.
----------------------------------------------
Alright so I started this at 9:03 and it's now 5:14. I had to leave the computer lab because the pictures Scott was pulling up was seriously making me want to barf.

More later.

Love
El Scorcho.

p.s.
Here's that damn picture I promised.

V-Day Love

2009-03-09T15:59:00.000-06:00

So I was going thru my camera looking at pictures and stuff and I found this and decided it needed to be on the internet. So here it is.

More later.
Love Scorcho

"You're wearing brown shoes and a black belt..."

2009-02-25T08:29:00.000-07:00

Legit title.

Today was the first time in quite a while that I've intentionally matched.

I have:

A red watch
A black necklace

A red tanktop
underneath

A black short sleeved shirt
A red and black flannel button up shirt

Blue jeans (only part that doesn't "match")

And red shoes.

With blue nails and neon orange rings.

I was a little surprised with myself, because I never care if I match. I think if you want to wear something that has plaid and then you want to wear a polka-dotted shirt then you wear the shit out of that outfit. I've been on a huge individuality kick and I seriously think that it'll last for the rest of my life. Not one of those things that you adopt for a few months (like running) and then move on to something else for another few months (like yoga) because being yourself isn't exhausting and is SO easy, even if you have no idea who you are.

Scott has helped me evolve in to me since the day I met him. He's encouraged my interpretation of who I am and whatever it is that I'm about and accepted anything and everything that I am and do. I had such bad self confidence and was completely unsure of myself before I met him. He's helped me relax into myself and helped me sink beautifully into my skin.

I might have weird taste and a weird thought process, but I don't really mind it because it's COMPLETELY natural for me. I don't censor my thoughts and rarely censor what I think about things (except for when it comes to work. I'm not stupid enough to say what I REALLY think).

It's so hard to explain and excruciating because it's such a wonderful feeling and I think everybody should feel this way. It's not gloating or a like an overpowered self-confidence drive, it's just complete acceptance and realization of WHO you are and WHAT your personality is like and HOW you function and HOW things are. I have no idea what kind of group I fit in to or what kind of person I can be labeled as but I don't care because I love being me.

If this isn't making much sense then I'm kind of sorry. It makes so much sense in my head and I'm in a computer lab and staring at the screen has left tracers of light when I look at my hands and around the room (which occurs frequently given my beautiful attention span).

Time to go listen to a feminists take on history in T-minus 16 minutes.

"Why do we wear pants to work? BECAUSE MEN WORE PANTS TO WORK!!!!!!!"

WOOF!

Loves always

scorcho.

Welcomed Social Interruptions.

2009-02-06T14:14:00.000-07:00

I don't know if it's just me but I always, ALWAYS imagine myself doing HORRIBLE things at the wrong time. Stuff that makes absolutely no sense. And has no reason behind it.

Shouting profanities at the top of my lungs during the Sacrament.

Losing control of my bladder while I write lengthy sentences from my essay (as an example of what not to do) on the board in my english class.

Sending a shit-talking text to the subject of the shit.

etc. etc.

Like the other day, I was walking out of class to meet Scott who had gotten the car, with a dangerously buoyant spring in my step (heading north) with my water bottle about half full along for the ride, clutched securely by the lid in my right hand, when I had one of the most errant thoughts I think I've ever had, as a homely (I have no room to talk since I wear pajamas to school) , rain cloud girl walked past me in a southerly direction, eyes set dead ahead on her destination (If I think of her as something other than a human she'd totally be a slug).

My idea then struck me so that I immediately had a rediculously huge grin slathered on my face.

My eyes were even smiling.

As I walked by her, my minds eye opened up a beautiful new window of the same scene, with me in my clicky-clock knee-high boots, lime green pea-coat and sassy electric blue beanie, SWINGING as hard as I could, and connecting her face with my water bottle (remember, half full) and not even breaking step, leaving her and everyone else around completely baffled.

Totally improper right? And seriously messed up!

WHY do I have those kinds of thoughts?

It is so, that on days like today, where all seems lost and tomorrow is feared

I can reminisce.

and regardless of the scene

it made me smile

and always will.

Love,

Scorcho.

MRSA Nipple

2009-01-19T14:01:00.000-07:00

So there's this poster in the bathroom at my work and it has "Community Acquired MRSA Rising at an Alarming Rate" crap poster and there's sample pictures of what the infections look like and how they're confused with spider bites and the like, and there's one particular picture that looks EXACTLY like a slightly obese man's pudgy nipple, except there's a belly button right underneath it. And every time I walk into the bathroom my eyes are drawn RIGHT to that nipple, and I get disgusted every time. I've wanted to tear it down for a while but I don't have the guts to do it.
Just an update. More laters.

Lurvs,
Your Scorcho.

I'm gonna show this world a thing or two...

2008-11-05T07:13:00.001-07:00

Norm's having another bad dream.

Life as of late has been pritt-y shitt-y. I can't even think of somewhere to start.

I'm totally infuriated. And thinking about everything makes me just laugh.
Well mostly just thinking about my job makes me laugh.
Scheduled 5 of out 5 holidays?

Oh HEEEEEYULLLL no!

I could indulge but I just don't feel like it.

Yeah, I've had a little caffeine. SO? Aaaaaand I'm listening to Rihanna's Breakin' Dishes and can't sit still.
My family has been worried about me and I'm sure this entry won't reassure them but I promise I'm fine. Just waiting for meds to adjust.

I'm reading Steven King's On Writing and I'm absolutely in love with it. Partial auto-biography/advice/ideas on writing.

Aaaand I just bought the Twilight soundtrack with Scott's iTunes password.
Yeeeeeeeeeep! Sorry love. It's for a good cause I promise.

And I also have a surprise for all 5 of my readers. A surprise that won't be unveiled until Spring.
No I'm not pregnant and no it's nothing way exciting.
My family knows how I get with secrets and gifts-I can't hold on to them long enough and want the whole world to know about them but THIS ONE is mine and mine alone and will have to wait until spring. So you will have to wait too.
Kind of like a new years resolution lame type of deal. Only it's November. I think I'm mostly thriving because October is over. October=Bats=Omens=Depressing=no fun.

Anywhooooooo. I'm going to finish my new playlist and run around the block a few times and read the whorish vampire novel that is Dark Symphony (I HATEEEEEEE the name Byron and the fact that the main girl is BLIND. Nothing against blind people-they just make for awkward love scenes, feeling his face for expressions and all) by Christine Feehan. A fellow Mormon.

Yikes.

Here I go!

Loves,

Syds.

Glug glug glug.

2008-11-01T14:04:00.001-06:00

So I'm supposed to be getting ready to go over to my parents casa to get a bunch of my old shit/take most of my old shit to the D.I. But I'm sitting here staring at my newly painted nails (it's like a plummy colour. It looks BEAUTIFUL on Scott's toes!).

Can I just tell you how freaking glad I am that October's over? FINALLY? Holy shit man.

There's a lot that I've been meaning to blog about but any energy that I've had I've used to sleep. Life takes a lot out of me. And it could be me taking a lot out of myself, and maybe I should slow my mind down but sometimes I'm so afraid of interfering and messing everything up. Domino effect.

Anyway. I gotta go, I haven't even showered yet and I'm supposed to be there by 3.

Lurves.

Syd.

p.s.

if you're looking for a movie that will absolutely blow your mind,

rent Frankenstein w/Robert De Niro.

YIKES.

Woof.

2008-10-22T12:24:00.000-06:00

Guess who found 6 pristine Ren and Stimpy comics at the D.I. this morn?

ME.

I'm so excited. One of them even has Powdered Toast Man on the front.

So the entire month of October has pretty much sucked for the most part. ONE thing after ANOTHER keeps HAPPENING and now I can't help but wait for the other shoe to drop.

Rabid husband.
Kelly dies.
Dad diagnosed w/prostate cancer.

Speaking of rabid husband, I woke up the other night to Scott, fully clothed, crawling around on the floor. My immediate thought was

"Holy shit.........is he rabid?"

I was horrified. I asked him what he was doing and he just hung his head while he laughed, and then hopped up and ran out of the room. I'm thinking there was some crack in his rockstar. But who knows.

Work has been pretty shitty lately too. I've worked graves for almost a year (decemberrrrrrr) and it's catching up to me. I can't live a normal life. Working the hours that your body wants to sleep thru 5 days a week takes a serious ammount of energy to stave off.

Okay. Time for sleep. Still got love for the streets.

Love,

Scorcho.

who wants to go to bed with their makeup on?

I do.

Here's to thinking this month couldn't get any worse...

2008-10-14T06:45:00.000-06:00

One of my coworkers died this last saturday. He was a crisis worker that worked on call graves-so I saw him a lot since people decide to be suicidal between the hours of 10 pm to 6 am. He was one of the kindest, funniest, most sincere, genuine people I've ever met in my life. He had stunningly blue eyes that penetrated any defenses you had set up. He had twin sons on missions and a 1o year old girl. He died from complications (most likely threw a clot) from a neck surgery. I'd love to find out who did it.

Scott is, as we speak, getting the 2nd out of 5 or 6 rabies vaccines.

Yeah. Rabies.
There were way too many coincidences and he found two little dots on his leg that COULD be bite marks but could be a number of other things, but since I love him so much and he loves himself so much we decided to go ahead with the vaccination. T-Minus $5000 (at least) and counting. Yikes.

Love my life. Could be worse right?

So, I bid you adieu,

Kelly Wall,

and will miss paging you once you've gone home for the night.

Loves,

always,

Scorcho.

Oktober!

2008-10-04T16:09:00.000-06:00

So I must've been on something crazy last night because I had a dream that I was being chased around by a serial killer in my parents neighborhood. To make it worse and way more intense than it already freakin was, the serial killer was GARY BUSEY.

I woke up in a cold sweat. I was horrified. Ever since I was a little kid, and I've had dreams that I'm not cool with, I've been able to realize that I was in a dram and wake myself up (one time I brought my hand up to my eye and opened my eyelid). Aaaaaand it doesn't sound believable but it is. So shhh.

So I took Annie home yesterday and saw little Alex for the first time and holy shit that kid is gorgeous. HUGE beautiful brown eyes and teeth just like every other Campbell had when they were a kid.

SO cute. I'm so glad they're home so they can get all settled in and get him into the flow of a normal life.

Well anyway, not much else to say other than I fell asleep around 5 this morning and woke up about 45 minutes ago.
So I'm gonna go do something productive like refresh the paint on my toenails.

Loves,

Scorcho.

It's almost October and I'm still sweating.

2008-09-30T16:23:00.000-06:00

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I hate being hot. It's unpleasant, leads to headaches, and makes my hands swell up so that I look like I have snausages for fingers. I'd much, MUCH rather be cold. You can bundle up, and wear comfortable clothes, AND it makes your hands super skinny so that your rings start to slide around. Piano hands. I can't even tell you how excited I am for fall to be here. I heffing LOVE it. I usually get all depressed and pale but this year I'm going to change that.

I'll go tanning.

Ha, ha, ha.

No really though. I'm done being depressed and down on myself. I am who I am, and my life is MY life, and I alone am the only one that can mold it. So suck it, Trebek.
Alright so moving on. I always feel selfish when I blog, because I'm always talking about myself, but then I thought, shit, it's MY blog, who the hell else would I blog about? Oprah? Pffff, bitch can get her own blog!

So this last sunday we (family) got together for Ninadine and Jedaline's birthdays. I recently bought a new camera so I've been using the crap out of it and taking millions of pictures.

Observe.

So here's Annie outside with her new Duck. I don't want to give her back when Jules and Dusty get home.

Doug, Maisy, and Gunder on the trampoline.

Cam wondering why he left the womb.

Camden, Mum and Dad.

Craig on acid.

Craig and Me.

Mum, Cam and Karin.

Mark and Me. Special spirits.

Mum and Dad

Nina and Nancy.

Anna giving me attitude.

Gunder and me pouting.

Aaaaaaand Gunder being the ever concerned child that he is.

I had to add this one.

So here's Nina and Jed (and Maisy and Mark) blowing out their candles. Yaaaaayyy.

====================================================================

Here's Dustin, Alex and Jules, still in Taiwan. They're coming home thursday night!

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

====================================================================

So that about sums up sunday. And my life as of right now. Along with the fact that I'm all of the sudden 13 again and am getting zits like some kid that slept with a bag of greasy breadsticks over his head. Muh.

Time to find something to eat.

Love,

(you know you're jealous)

Scorcho.

Expansion.

2008-09-27T21:02:00.000-06:00

Another nephew!

Jules and Dustin just flew out to Taiwan this last thursday and picked him up today instead of monday thanks to Hurricane Mary.

His name is Alex Kuan Yu Loveridge. I'm so excited for them to get home, I can't even wait.

We're babysitting their slightly neurotic dog Annie- who ADORES me- aaaaaaaaaaand everything was wonderful until she brought a bat into the house.

A FREAKING BAT.

I'll blog that one later. I'm still getting over it. I've spent the last two days praying that I won't be a widow since scott was the one that took it outside. (I made him put on gloves so we're A.O.K., and Annie had her rabies shot last year so we're in the clear. Plus it might've just flown in with her when Scott let her inside. I almost stepped on the damn thing.)

But anyway. YAY! I'm so freaking happy for them.

I went to bikram yoga today and it kicked my ass. Like Steven Segal kicked my ass. I got off work at 6 and came home to change and get all of my crap and then hauled back to ogden only to find out that class is at 830 instead of 8. Nice. So I sat in my car and did naughty crosswords.

YIKES.

Sadly, I can do them better than the crosswords that are in the newspaper.

Sorry mum.

Anyway.
I was feeling sorry for myself tonight because Scott is at BB's birthday party and it's mostly guys going so I got all bratty and told him to just go and I'd stay home. So I called Nina and she was going to a movie with her cronies so then I sent Craig and Mariah a text to see what they were doing and they were in Salt Lake. So I said screw it and went into full pout mode and drove around a little bit, intending to go to Barnes and Noble but diverted to Savers instead (Thank GOODNESS) and I found lots of wonderful things and you don't even have to worry about it because I bought them all. It was like Heavenly Father felt sorry for me and led me to my amazing finds. So I bought them, and then went to Smiths and bought $40 bucks worth of chips and dip for tomorrow's dinner aaaaaaand came home and here I am.

And I also bought an amazing Zelda shirt (hot topic) with the shield and master sword on the front. I know you're jealous.

Okay I'm gonna go now. My attention span has tapped out.

Muchos Loves,

Scorcho.

P.S

I just noticed on the back of my Jolly Rancher bag that they're manufactured in CANADA.

IDK if I can eat them anymore.

Man Vs. Machine

2008-09-24T07:05:00.000-06:00

So I'm really pissed off and in a bad situation. My sewing machine (Greg) and I are in a fight. The bastard won't sew. I assume that it's a man just because that's the feel I get when I use him (heh), and I don't want to be sexist and assume that it's a woman. If it were, her name would be Betsy. But anyway- I'm totally stuck because my niece's dieciseisanera is in a few days and I was going to SEW her some stuff for her present but SOMEBODY doesn't want to help out. So I punched him in what I assume would be his stomach and put him away.

Anyway. I'm gonna go before my oatmeal gets too cold.

Cold mush.

Loves,

El Scorcho.

You crafty bitch!

2008-09-22T10:22:00.000-06:00

So yeah it's been like 2 months since I've posted but what of it?

I just wanted to say what of it.

Yesterday Scott and I went to the grocery store (Yes, yesterday WAS in fact Sunday but those little hellians in nursery seriously almost pushed me over the edge. It was honestly total chaos. Like monkies on meth. Like puppies that just ate a crack sandwich and were running around wiggling, shitting everywhere. TOTALLY uncontrollable. And then we gave them balloons. Genius.

ANYWAY. So we went to the store and I bought (among other things) some cottage cheese and strawberry yogurt. There's this girl that I work with (that I also went to highschool with [and was HORRIFIED of her, but now we're friends]) and she's a totally in shape, sexy, smart girl that always eats way healthy stuff unless I talk her in to some battered fries or something. So sometimes at work she eats.......DING DING DING- Cottage cheese and strawberry yogurt! So while at the store I was like "Huh....I'm gonna try this", figuring that if she eats it, and she's all sexy and healthy, then I'LL eat it and become sexy and healthy!

So I started eating it this morning and ho-my-gad-jul, it was awful.

AWFUL. I'm not a morning person to start out with, let alone a breakfast-after-being-awake-45-minutes kind of person. I was about 10 little nibbles in to it when a fruit fly landed in the bowl, and in my head I was like "Aw, damn." But my heart was palpitating with joy.

Sorry Laura. Cottage cheese belongs with nacho cheese/ranch doritos.

Which I will have later today.

I looked at my blog before doing this post and decided that I'm seriously sick of the layout and songs on it. Time for something new.

I can't even tell you how effing excited I am for October. I've been off of Prozac for about a month and have had a massive creative rebirth and bought:

(I actually bought these for Scott for his birthday,

but intend on using them once I can figure out how to draw.)

Paint/Fabric markers

And that's about it. I thought there was more to it but I thought wrong. I don't want to even think about how much it all costs added up. The pastels alone were like $130-40ish.

So when I bought the paint markers (which smell incredible, btw) I also bought two porcelain skulls (I have a tiny obsession with skeletons) and finally got around to decorating them w/the paint markers. They look magnificent. Ever since we went to Cancun on our honeymoon, and visited various places around the area, I developed a rather large obsession with Dia De Los Muertos-anything. Fabric, colours, traditions, decorations, anything and everything having to do with it. I love it.

So here's our little family. Scott's is on the left and mine is on the right. The two in the middle we brought home from Xcaret. Eshhhhcaret. Wonderful place.

Scorcho's

Scotula's.

(these will most likely stay out year-round)

So since HALLOWEEN is upon us, I need to find a pattern so I can make my costume with my sewing machine. I decided (about 6 months ago) that I was going to be Link. Not Zelda, she sucks and always has to get other people to get her out of shit. I've grown up with video games and decided that, since I can look like a little boy with little to no effort, it was time to pay tribute to Link. Sword and shield already purchased. Thank you, Savers.

So I need to get on it. Be proactive, just like my face wash.

Okay well that's enough for one day. I need to go shower, I smell like a tanning bed.

Woof.

Love,

El Scorcho.

For Nicole-

2008-07-19T17:06:00.000-06:00

Alright so I've been dragging my feet long enough. My sisterinlaw Nicole has been politely giving me crap since January about starting a blog, to which I'd reply every time "I'm working on it" or something along those lines to appease her. Aaaaand here I am 6 months later. Still working on it. I had good intentions and opened an account in January when she first suggested it and, like most other things, I sort of just ignored it until it was staring me in the face every day, putting me on a guilt trip. Instead of the little blogger icon, it should have just been a picture of Nicole's face.
So here I am.
I'm Sydney Woolf, and this is my blog.
Okay so that was lame.
I work the graveyard shift at McKay Dee Hospital in Ogden Utah, and anyone that works graves would agree that the hours tend to constantly keep your body on the verge of self destruct and openly hate you for working those hours. So all in all I have a pretty messed up schedule, but I absolutely love my job. I love the people I work with (this is the first job where I can honestly say that) with the exception of a few, and I usually enjoy the work I do. Sometimes I come home from work feeling like I've been mauled by a bear or manhandled by Paul Bunyan. I work mostly for the ER docs there and order Xrays/CT's for the patients on the computer and then get ahold of certain doctors for them. My skin has become exceptionally thick since working there and I can honestly say that I like people in general a lot less than I did before. I answer the phones too and every now and then I get a call that is blog-worthy, and I have a few stories that I'll throw on here too. Since I've taken the time to set this up I might as well use it, right?
I've always had a journal, but if you look thru them there's only about 1/4th of the journal that's filled up. And I've got like 500 journals. Not kidding. More like 40-45. But yeah, I've yet to figure out the reason for me always wanting change but when I do find out I'll let you know. So I'm sure the layout of my blog will be changing weekly.
Scott gets home in about an hour so I'm gonna get up (yes I've been sleeping most of the day) and get ready so we can go out and get a present for my sister Nancy. Her birthday was on the 11th and of course I was asleep all day so I feel the need to get her something meaningful instead of a new journal or stationary that she and I both love.
Nerdy? Yes. But oh well.
Loves
syds.